I watch TEDx Talks video pretty often recently. I think this video is very useful. There’re many ideas which are not only just for relationships, but also the wisdom in our lives. Here are some notes I took to share with you guys.:)
1. Be CURIOUS, not critical
🔺Help you to get over the hurdle of the furstration thay comes from inmet expectations.
⚡Invest the time to understand how and why we’re differently, so we can learn to use our strenghts rather than waste time and energy criticizing difference.
⭐“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.” —Albert Einstein.
2. Be CAREFUL, not crushing
🔺Help you get over the hurdle of poor conflict resolution styles.
⚡Our natural fights or fight responses are very me-centered. It’s about looking after me and my interests rather than being off-centered. So we need to literally reprogram these automatic responses by developing the skills and habits that allow us to turn out better to conflict situations, to take care of each other through the process, to work towards genuine resolutions no matter how angry we might be with each other. One of the disciplines that we developed was to ground rules which are boundaries that would control our behaviors in conflict situations.
⭐Learn how to work together, argue well, treat each other with care and come out stronger together.
3. ASK, don’t assume
⚡Getting good at having those courageous conversations that see us asking and discussing rather than assuming and stereotyping.
4. CONNECT before you correct
⚡To find meaningful specific ways that build warmth in the relationship.
⭐People go where they feel welcomed, but stay where they feel valued.
Here’s the full video!
4 Habits of ALL Successful Relationships | Dr. Andrea & Jonathan Taylor-Cummings | TEDxSquareMile